God Bans Smartphone @ Pearly Gate

In an attempt to arguably heighten the attention she already has, God has banned the use of smartphones. What could also be an attempt to set the standards in heaven or a tactic to get at Satan who, after viewing that mostly every person in the queue to enter heaven, stands with a smartphone in palm, dared to disrespect God by texting her that people had lost interest in entering heaven, particularly if there is no smartphone useage allowed.

The Heaven Manual, which do-gooders are presented with by Angels as they kneel in the queue states that smartphone usage is permanently banned in heaven.

Angels state that God is appalled. An anonymous angel stated that God is curious to know what could people  possibly  be doing on smartphones that's that important, looking for alternative to heaven? Once you're in line you get in. That's it. What's better than heaven?

Someone apparently posted a picture of people in the queue to enter the Pearly Gates on Social Media for all to view--even Satan.

A kneeler noted that he simply wished to prove to his friends that he had indeed made it. "Let's just say I didn't live an idyllic life. I wanted to share to my social network that I had made it. Now I suppose they will never know."