Holding On

I don't know what to say as I listen to the suicide hotline representative ask "Do you have a weapon in your hand?" I want to say I like the sound of your voice or that Sundays are melancholic and dreary and that my dad has cancer and that I plan to end my life the day cancer ends his life.  I want to get to know him.  He wasn't around when I was growing up but we reconnected later in life and...and...we click like tap shoes and I'm eager to get to know him, even if that means during the after life.